A Dedication to Jim Cartee, Sr. – “My Grandfather and My Friend”

As some of you may already know, my grandfather died last week….kind of unexpectedly for me. He was almost 94 years of age. Sometimes, when you have someone in your life for so long, you take it for granted that they have lived such a long time. You hope that person will continue to be around forever. However, eventually, the day will come when that streak of good health and longevity ends. It might hit you in the stomach like a ton of bricks punching you in the belly.

I still have mixed feelings about the situation because I did not yet have the chance to introduce Granddad to my son, Jace. Now only three and half months, Jace is named after my grandfather as the fourth generation, James Louie Cartee, IV.

The funeral transpired in Easley, South Carolina this past Saturday. I opened the funeral ceremony and service with the following prayer below. I think it surmises many of the happy and sad emotions felt through the occasion for me.

My grandfather lost his mother when he was six years old to pneumonia. When Granddad was twelve years old, he lost his father to a heart attack. He spent most of his teen years living in the YMCA and working while also trying to finish high school. He eventually graduated from Clemson University to later have a very successful career with Shell Oil Company. He and my grandmother, Dorothy “Dot” Cartee were wonderfully married for sixty-four years!

Please read this prayer as a dedication to my grandfather’s life, for all that he stood for, and for all that he meant to me. He will be greatly missed! I love you, Granddad!

PRAYER

“In the name of the Trinity, God, Son, and Holy Spirit; thank you for this day that you have made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank you for 94 years with a man that forever changed my life and many of the lives here today. Rather than times not had, please help us to remember those times we celebrated together, as family, as friends, as four generations named James. Thank you for Jace. Thank you for Annabelle. Thank you for Lisa. Thank you for parents. Thank you for grandparents. Thank you for family – both family of the Cartee bloodline and friends we consider family here today.

The beach, the sports games, the graduation ceremonies, the times we took for granted that we perhaps now long for more of, the Crown and 7, the good food, the tailgating, the tipsy nights on the dock of the Fripp Bay, the laughs, the tears, and the bad times that eventually turned into good.

The Father tends His sheep. The Son saves mankind. The Spirit tends the Garden. I ask that we learn how precious life is in the three roles of this blessed Trinity. Rather than walk alone, please teach us to walk alongside Jesus.

Please help us to appreciate the living breath in this very moment, right now, in the heartbeat we feel within our chest. The youthful days are gone. The grandkids are no longer the babes. We are the next of kin, and please give us the courage of a thousand David’s, the wisdom of a thousand Solomon’s, and the endurance of a thousand Job’s.

I once might have considered a comparison to Granddad to be a bad thing. I only now consider it to be an honor. I stand before you today as a better man, a better Christian, a better father, a better student, and a better worker because of the person we celebrate today.

My name is James Louie Cartee, the 3^rd. Over here, we have James Louie Cartee, Junior. In Knoxville, Tennessee, we have James “Jace” Louie Cartee, the 4^th.

Some may say it’s just a name, however, four generations started with one name…and one to be cherished.

In his memory, may we live with honor, joy, and kindness for the rest of our days. Please bless each and every person in this room abundantly and without limit. Please watch over them. Please protect them. Please anoint them.

In the famous words of Mathew Calhoun, “Ain’t no party like the Cartee party because the Cartee party don’t stop!”

Yes sir! This is a celebration. This is a party! This is a dance! This is an awesome occasion!

So, please help us to celebrate until we can dance no more. Help us to grieve if we must. Help us to remember all we can with good memories. Help us to laugh until we can laugh no more. If in sorrow, help us to cry until we feel better. Some may ask me, “Who is Jim Cartee, Sr.?”

I will answer, “He was my grandfather. He was my hero. He was my friend.”

Let’s remember Jim Cartee for the rest of our days!

We ask all these many things in the precious blood of your Son, Jesus Christ. Forever and ever, Amen!”

 

*Referring back to the prayer, “Crown and 7” is one of my family’s favorite alcoholic beverages, including Granddad. “Tipsy nights on the dock of the Fripp Bay” is a reference to our many wonderful years of memories at Fripp Island.

I have posted some of my favorite recent and past pictures of Granddad below for your viewing.

#daddydestinations #daddy #dad #blog #family #destinations #memories #story #narrative #inspiration #JamesCartee #babylife #friends #baby #JaceCartee #Jace #expecting #Annabelle #Granddad #JimCarteeSr #JimCartee

Marriages Vows, Blessed Reminders, and Blissful Wonders

Each passing day I cannot help but stare into the eyes of my beautiful Annabelle, thinking “I must be the luckiest man on Earth to have you as a daughter!” This routine gesture constantly reminds me that she was birthed from the love of a dear and blessed marriage to an amazing woman, my wife, Lisa Joy Cartee. In these moments of blissful wonder, I often go back to read my marriage vows that were recited at our wedding party, ceremony, and reception in May of 2017.

These vows serve as a keepsake of unity and a reminder of God’s grace when I met Lisa for the first time. Sometimes, amidst a crazy busy day, I intentionally take a minute to reflect and remember that our most precious gifts should not be taken for granted. The past defines who we eventually become up to the present. We, as individuals, cannot forget those who stood by us with unflinching certainty and sound dedication when we needed a support system during adverse times. These are the folks we should keep around for many decades to come. In addition to my immediate family, that special someone for me is Lisa, who eventually birthed my next favorite extraordinary person, Annabelle Merci Cartee.   

For your viewing pleasure, please read the following marriage vows.

Marriage Vows – James and Lisa Cartee

Saturday, May 20, 2017

“To those of you attending today, thank you for coming. Thank you for supporting and believing in this marriage.

For as long as my affections for Lisa have existed, she never, and I mean never gave up on me. Her persistence is one of her most captivating qualities. It was I, James L. Cartee, III, who wanted to let go. Lisa would not have it. She would not let go of who she called ‘her best friend.’

While one might say the boy wins over the girl, here in this story, the girl won over the boy. And that devotion would be the reason that my life changed forever!

In life, I often talk of things I should have done before my present age, such as obtaining a doctoral degree, which is a destructive and negative exercise to be so self-critical. However recently these thoughts seem to be less and less. If anything in the timeline of my life had shifted in a different direction, I would not have met the best part – Lisa Joy Cartee. Things do indeed happen in God’s good timing.

That sometimes feels like where my real story began, the day I knew Lisa was the one. Of course, do remember how hard she fought for me. Any woman that fights that long and hard is one worth having.

Therefore I will thank God daily for His Grace, His Mercy, and His Willingness to bless me with Lisa. I have walked through the darkest of mental valleys where no light seemed present in a cave that never ended. As uncertain temptations clouded my mind, Lisa shined, sometimes as a lightning bug, sometimes as an oncoming train. She pulled me out of the darkness where eventually I embraced the light once again. One step, one day at a time, Lisa was the constant reminder of God’s eternal love. In the dimness of a perfect night storm at sea, Lisa was the lighthouse that brought my sinking sailboat back to shore.

Like my Cartee clan of support, Lisa serves as an example and driving force of why I continue on those down days. She gives me hope that everything will be okay. Lisa remains calm and courageous. She cares for the welfare of those suffering with compassion and never-ending patience. With both a beautiful spirit and figure, Lisa is my wife, my prayer partner, my best friend, and my teammate. With God by our side, we are unstoppable! We are champions destined for greatness and abundant blessings! Like Lisa fought for me in my most desperate hour, I love her, and I am here with her until the end of the line.”  

For a flashback on this special day, these are some photos from the wonderful marriage occasion! 

#marriage #marriagevows #vows #celebration #lifejourney #DaddyDestinations #blog #family #adventures

Father’s Day (or Mother’s Day) Brings Forth The Blessings Children Bestow Upon Us, Simply By Their Existence!

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”  -John 16:21 (ESV)

While I attended graduate school at Auburn University, I had a close friend express to me that the only thing he ever wanted in life was to be a father. This conversation occurred over ten years ago. I am sad to say that his disclosed wish has yet to happen, however I pray that this specific dream does come true much sooner rather than later in his life.

For several years, I thought professional goals, success, and accomplishments, including an advanced degree (combined with incredible income), would bring me ultimate happiness. Please know I do not mean to overlook or understate these milestones; however I have learned that contentment comes in a variety of forms. Unfortunately, professional avenues have rarely fulfilled me to the level that my wife, Lisa, and my daughter, Annabelle, do. Their smiles, including the grins of our precious baby, touch my heart in a satisfying way that professional achievements rarely bring forth. If you personally know me as an individual, you know I accomplish plenty without the need to push my inner self any further. Yet my family still seems to bring the best warm and fuzzy feelings of fulfillment that I have longed for.    

This will be the first official year that Lisa and I will recognize Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for ourselves, meaning since the inception of our first child, Annabelle, approximately ten months ago. Through the years, as I tried to honor my Mom and Dad with each of these respective occasions, I thought these calendar-marked days were meant to cherish and appreciate parents, however as Father’s Day approaches, the day really has nothing to do with me specifically. My attention still focuses on Annabelle, not myself, because I am realizing now more than ever that it is a privilege and honor to have children and even more so a blessing to be able to raise them.   

Like a corny Valentine’s Day, sometimes I think marketers and large stores create these holidays simply to make profits on all the junk gifts made and sold to those who actually buy them. Father’s Day is not about what special gifts my kids and/or wife get me. I really do not need more junk for Father’s Day to put in a box and eventually give away to Goodwill. I simply choose to remember the many good fortunes Annabelle brings to the celebration of fatherhood. All I really need is her smile. Eventually, her craft-made treasures, given as presents, will mean much more to me than expensive material possessions.

The rest of life’s worries seem inconsequential at this point in comparison to the significance of having children. Until you have kids of your own, you will probably read my words with sincerity and perhaps even esteem for these expressed feelings, however you will still not comprehend the inner vastness of contentment that parenthood brings.

The only way to experience this burst of butterfly joy in your heart is to have a kid through natural birth or adoption. Until then, you might be missing out on the best that life has to offer through the eyes of your very own child.

These photographs were recently taken by the talented Jack Horsley. Thank you, Jack, for a great session, capturing more memories with my beautiful family! 

#daddydestinations #daddy #dad #blog #family #DaddiesAndDaughters #destinations #memories #story #narrative #inspiration #JamesCartee #FathersDay #MothersDay

A TRIP to FRIPP - The Baby’s First Trip at The Beach….Positivity Spreads Across Generations!

(Annie, Lisa, and I are walking on the beaches at Hunting Island State Park. You can see the tip of the famous lighthouse in the background.) 

I count each additional day that I get to spend time with my daughter, Annabelle, to be a precious blessing. Her smiles cause my heart to freeze with joy each time I sense her evident happiness.

Life is short, and as humans, we often become what we concentrate our attention on the most. For instance, if I constantly complain about trivial details in my life, then I will probably have a slightly negative disposition towards my life. On the other hand, if I speak positively of every circumstance in my life, then naturally I will probably love life, even amid tragedies. There is good to be found in every situation if you seek the good things you wish for. We become what our thoughts most dwell on, psychologically, emotionally, and perhaps even spiritually.

Life potentially develops into what you expect will happen. And of course, sometimes the unexpected happens but not necessarily in a bad way. If we ask God to bless us, then we can optimistically expect those requests to come to fruition. Believe they will occur. I speak these life wishes into verbal statements of self-affirmation over and over and over again. You transform yourself into the thoughts you give the most attention to, positive or negative sentiments.

Like the positive person I hope Annabelle continues to be through her continual giggles and smiles, she probabilistically emulates the people she spends the most time with, her parents. For the first time this past week, Annabelle experienced the feel of beach sand, a lighthouse climb of multiple stairs, and her feet against ocean waves. I choose to focus my attention on her first nervous steps in the cold waves (positive), rather than the observation that the weather was not exactly ideal (negative). I hope to fixate on my rare moments with family I only see a couple of times a year (positive), rather than some of their relative tendencies to slightly annoy me (negative).

While partaking in my beach vacation, for instance, I was given a brief lecture on how Lisa and I should be raising Annabelle. I have noticed that many folks willingly give advice, even when not requested. If a cynic focuses only on cynical commentary, then their continual self-indulgent need to give advice will neither come across as positive or constructive. It is just painful on the ears forced to listen. Hence James 1:19 reminds us of the following: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

I hope Annabelle is raised to realize, live, and know the humility of when to listen and when to speak (thriving with a James 1:19 mentality). Walking on the beach provides a majestic opportunity to listen to the crashes of waves and the voices of nature with seagulls soaring in a place called home, meaning Fripp Island, South Carolina. My family has journeyed to Fripp Island every summer for the last 50 years, not missing one year in that streak. This continual tradition is quite an impressive blessing! I gasp in the awes of island sunsets and beach sunrises in this marvelous place on an annual basis.     

I will acknowledge and concentrate on the fact that each new year at Fripp Island is better than the previous one. My positive mentality in the present will actively transform into my positive mentality for the future. Each day that passes can be better than the previous day. I suppose it is just a matter of how you look at life and the present moment you live in. What do you give most of your mental attention to? Because that focused energy will be the force you generate throughout your life, positive or negative, optimistic or cynical. I hope that Annabelle lives with moments at Fripp Island where her Daddy laughs and smiles more than anyone else in the room with true joy. The sand between my toes is the positive sensation I will remember and give thanks for as my daughter builds her first sandcastles.

I am no longer the glass-half-empty kind of guy. Annabelle helps me be a glass-half-full father for the future. She constantly reminds me of what is most important in life, experienced memories, a relationship with Jesus, and family.

And of course, here at some of our favorite photographed moments with Annabelle at Fripp Island.

(Annie with G-Daddy on the beach, my father.)

(Annie and her first steps in the ocean water on the beach.)

(Annie, Lisa, and me before dinner at The Bonita Boathouse, restaurant at Fripp Island Marina.) 

(Annie with CeeCee at the Lost Local Restaurant in downtown Beaufort, South Carolina, my mom.)

(Annie on the beach with G-Daddy, Aunt Susan, and Cousin Madison.) 

(Annie inside the beach tent with Lisa and me. It was cold and windy on this day.)

(Annie wakes up at the beach house in the morning. Mornings are usually the time for her best, cheerful moods….a.k.a. fun to be around.)

#daddydestinations #daddy #dad #blog #family #DaddiesAndDaughters #destinations #memories #story #narrative #inspiration #JamesCartee

What did you do this weekend? We Drift. We Moonshine. We Hike! (with insights on honor and commitment)….

The following memory resurfaced on my Facebook feed this week from eleven years ago, which seemed ironic given what happened to me these last few weeks.

James Cartee

“Do people come through? That is the nature of what should define a friendship. If someone brings drama or negativity in the slightest to the table, is that someone you want to spend valuable energy, insight, and time pouring into? I also believe a person is defined by their word. If you make a commitment, perhaps it is best to stick to it or not commit at all. Sometimes "No" really is the simplest answer.”

I desire for my legacy to mean something significant to the people around me when I pass away, especially in terms of how Annabelle views her father and even talks about me with other people. Just to note, Annabelle was not riding in any of the cars seen drifting here in these clips.

I was recently speaking with an old friend who has since retired from an established career of teaching Communication in higher education, and she mentioned that I was “growing up.” It only took me almost forty years to do so. But I am okay with that. When raising a daughter, I often reflect on my humanity and the lessons I learn in my journey with God and family by my side.

First, I eventually hope that Annabelle speaks about her family with fondness and excitement in the adventures that we live through together. I am not one to typically condone hours of watching television, playing Pokémon cards, or video gaming while life passes by in real moments that we could share together. On this particular Saturday, these race cars were filmed drifting, and we also drank moonshine (obviously not Annabelle). We ate a late lunch of fine dining at Cracker Barrel. And we ended the day with a beautiful hike at Seven Days Birdwatching State Park, near the French Broad River and the Smoky Mountains National Park.

Second, I hope that Annabelle learns the importance of keeping her word when she commits herself to something of importance, even if that something is only important to the person originally committed to. I recently had a friend bail on me with an event of personal importance to go work “an optional extra shift” with a job, not to mention I had paid out of pocket for his admittance into the game. He brushed it off like it was no big deal, yet it was a big deal to me! Today’s generation (probably me included at times) flakes through commitments with no real consideration for other people. The focus on myself has become the priority over serving your fellow man or woman sitting or standing next to you. 

Third, to clarify, it is not that self-image is ultimately the most important thing to me. It is the person and standard someone sets him or herself up to be that instead is paramount to me. In other words, you can be the fool, or you can be the person people respect and depend on. I desire for Annabelle to think about how her actions, thoughts, and commitments influence the people around her, from the way she dresses to the way she speaks with and to other people. Her depicted persona reflects upon this family, and I hope she understands the last name Cartee carries weight in the honor it represents to her father and others.

Keeping a person’s word and the value of honor might be an old-fashioned ideal to some. My wish remains that Annabelle respects keeping her word and honors those around her with a swagger that inspires. As the old saying goes, it is not always what you say that speaks of the person you are. It is what you do that defines what a person is about. 

Personal life lesson reminders for Annabelle, Lisa, and I – Don't be a flake!

Keep your word when given!

Let your “Yes’s” be true “Yes’s”!

Let your “No’s” be true “No’s”!

Live honorably in a way that esteems all your family members, especially our parents and grandparents before us. Respect is not freely given. It is earned!

If you devote your time, resources, and energy to any relationship, my wish and prayer for you is that your devotion to these priorities brings forth fruit for many years to come!

Here are some of the latest Annabelle pictures, including our recent hike, when the mountains called me home again.

#daddydestinations #daddy #dad #blog #family #DaddiesAndDaughters #destinations #memories #story #narrative #inspiration #JamesCartee

The Mountains Are Calling, and Annabelle Must Go!

“Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” -John Muir

At the university I currently attend for my PhD. in Communication, leadership removed all holiday and/or spring breaks to reduce travel with the student population. Research suggests that students perform better with exercise and recreational activities with semester breaks, in addition to receiving much-needed rest and quality time with family members. Due to these unfortunate situations, my wife, Lisa, and I recently traveled to take a long weekend in Ellijay, Georgia so I could have a short break from reality and responsibility. Ellijay is located in North Georgia along the Blue Ridge Parkway and near the southern route starting point of the Appalachian Trail.

Of course, Annabelle accompanied us, which really made the trip all the more enjoyable with some of her first moments in nature. Over the next few months, we will continue to involve Annabelle in outdoor pursuits. Some might say parents inspire children by what they say. Perhaps, better said and even more impactful, parents inspire children by what they do. If travel and outdoor recreation remain a natural priority for Mom and Dad, then perhaps that love for these activities will also become a priority for their kids.

Ellijay encompasses a small mountain community with a centralized town square that the Cartecay River flows through and vineyard country surrounds (Cartecay Vineyards, Ott Farms and Vineyard, Ellijay River Vineyards, etc.). Backpacker culture and nature lovers inhabit the town with a common enthusiasm for the great outdoors. The main street and township square comprises of unique clothing boutiques, locally-owned restaurants, outfitters, and other small shopping establishments.   

As a family together, in rainy weather, we hiked with Annabelle against my chest in a knapsack carrier. We ate on two occasions in a tavern bar in downtown Ellijay (River Street Tavern), both visits Annabelle happened to sleep through. We also visited a microbrewery where a live band asked me to rap with a pure beat of the drum (Cartecay River Brewing Company). I politely declined. We drank wine fireside with an acoustic set at a vineyard, making new friends with a couple from Savannah, Georgia. My family experienced a few adventures in this beautiful town with our daughter involved the entire time.

The mountains of Appalachia continue to teach and remind me of some valuable life lessons. First, one cannot always be in a rush. Today’s society pushes for a go-every-second mentality. You will miss the very moment in front of you if not careful to stop and catch your breath. On a beautiful hike, soak in the scenery around you. Absorb the stillness of nature. Stand in awe of your surroundings.

Second, let go of the dead weight. You will often hear serious backpackers mention their ultralight gear or their total weight carried on the trail. In fact, many adventurists get rid of things they realize are not needed on a long thru-hike. Sometimes you have to let go of the bad things in life. Rid yourself of the pressing unimportant things that we give too much attention to. It might be a negative relationship. It might be something materialistic. That dead weight might be the constant self-nagging in which you beat yourself up for no reason. Drop the dead weight! Continue on your journey and keep moving forward!

Third, embrace the journey and forget about the destination. Most admire attained goals, reaching for finish lines, and seeking long-sought-after accomplishments. However, the present minute you live in realistically defines who you are at the end of the journey. Our destinations often change. The hard moments define our grit to persevere when challenges come our way. Then, like endurance athletes, we eventually reach that destination, and then we become ready for the next adventure. Make the moments count because all the little moments along the way ultimately define the journey itself and whether all the sacrifices made were worthwhile.

Yes, the mountains speak to us! We just have to listen to remind ourselves of the simple truths we may already know down deep within. Even though the semester has been greatly altered compared to a traditional college calendar year, I received a break, and I am grateful. Most importantly, I created memories in the common passions I hope, over time, Annabelle also develops a love for. When the mountains call her, I, indeed, hope she will go! 

Here are some of the latest Annabelle pictures including our recent getaway when the mountains called me home.

#daddydestinations #daddy #dad #blog #family #DaddiesAndDaughters #destinations #memories #story #narrative #inspiration #JamesCartee